‘Amazing Grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.’ ~ John Newton
The wonder of Grace is that it is there for the asking and it is free! Regardless of the condition of our souls, we can have it! Regardless of the fact that we do not deserve it, we can have it!
I have come to the recent understanding that some of my bodily pain is not the pain from my own emotions, but the pain from others emotions that I absorb. We have all heard of clairvoyance, being able to see things that others may not be able to see. Clairsentience is being able to feel things from others that are outside of us. My sister and I are spiritually connected, and we share our paths and our struggles. She is a cancer survivor and still struggles with health issues.
One day, I was feeling off, and my stomach was in a big twisted
knot. I was unable to identify the source of this unease. My husband
gave me ideas what he thought might be bothering me, but none of his
suggestions felt correct. I just tried to let it go and went on with
That evening a distressing email came to me from my sister. It took a while for me to connect the two, but I came to the realization that it was her emotions and her distress that I had been feeling earlier. I had been feeling the emotions while she was trying to compose this distressing email to me. The content of the email she thought would hurt me, or hurt our relationship, so her distress was great. She confessed that she had gone through at least 10 revisions over the afternoon, trying to come up with the right words to say in that email. I was picking up her distress in my body!
This realization was amazing to me. My sister herself is what I call an Empath, like on Star Trek – a clairsentient extraordinaire! She constantly struggles over what is her pain, versus what is the pain of others that she is picking up and absorbing. Now, here I was, beginning to become more intuitive, and now I had to deal with other’s emotions in my body as well as my own? And I had enough to deal with!
My sister and I worked out the distress over the content of the email. She knew that I had physically felt her pain. So she prayed, and sent me Love the next day. She asked me later if I had felt her message of Love that she had sent me. I was appalled, because I had not. How awful was that, that I could feel her pain, but not her blessings?? I admitted to her, after I came to the realization, that we were not taught how to receive love, but that it was so much easier to receive pain. She also felt this was true for her. Again, I was astounded at this revelation.
Pigeon Pose, Variation
Several days later, I was out on my deck, the sun shining through periodic clouds, a typical summer day in Colorado. I was doing my intuitive movement as I faced the mountains in gratitude and praise. A while ago, before the clairsentient experience with my sister, I had the sense, that I was not open to Love. I did not know how to fully receive Love.
I had been working on chest opening exercises, the chest being the seat of the heart, the center for love. After the experience with my sister, I knew that I was correct in my intuition, that this was one of my issues. I silently moved through the basic Yoga positions and movements that I frequently use to warm up. I put myself into the Pigeon Pose, sitting with one leg bent in front of me and one leg extending behind me. This is a very difficult pose for me, since I have hip issues. I moved into the position with more ease than I had known before. Instead of raising my arms upward over my head to bring my hands together in a prayer motion, I instead moved my arms backward, behind my back, as far as I could. I threw my head back, fully exposing my chest and my heart to the sun. I said, “OK God, I am ready, let me have it!”
It wasn’t immediate, but as I held the pose, and cleared my mind, my chest really did open up. My heart became warm, and I felt the sensation of floating, swimming in a sea of Peace and Love. It was a feeling of total and complete calm that I had never felt before. Eventually I moved out of the pigeon pose, and sat on my ankles, with my arms still open behind me.
The 'swimming in the sea of calm' feeling persisted. It was a totally natural feeling of being, one of complete and utter relaxation, and floating of my physical body. I felt as if I wanted to move my arms, so I moved them into flowing, peaceful, graceful movements. I felt like a dancer, as I moved my hands upward and out, by my belly, then up to my chest and face. I could see the beautiful bright color of red and warmth, with my eyes closed. As I moved my hands the colors would change. Was I seeing my aura? I had no idea, but it was beautiful.
I now felt like this was the Amazing Grace that has been so lovingly sung about - total and encompassing Love!
My hands felt charged with warmth and energy, and I soon realized the color red was connected with my hands. Grace was visiting me, and I came to the realization that with my hands, Grace could ‘touch’ others through them. I stayed in this peaceful state of Grace for some time, and found it very difficult to come out.
I suppose I can never again say, that I do not know how to receive Grace and Love. I just need to learn how to experience it in every day life, in everyday acceptance of myself, as a being that deserves to know and receive Grace and Love. And my deepest desire is for you to discover your own personal experience of healing of your body-mind-soul. My hope is that you too may understand this Grace and Love as well!